Well, I don't have Ebola

But these last few days, I sure have felt like it. Just delirious. I woke up today, and it was like 3 days had passed. My fever and chills seem to have finally quit. I am still weak and fatigued, but I am back in the land of the living finally this afternoon. I woke up in the middle of last night with about 2 hours of unrelenting diarrhea. Still a periodic issue, but I am so afraid to eat that there is hardly anything left inside me to have an issue with. Steroid acne/staph boils are still coming, but the Burt's Bees tea tree oil blend is helping with the deep cysts. It was just a cold, but on top of the chemo, after all the excitement of the weekend. Monday, a federal holiday, I was still on a high and had the best day ever with a friend and the dogs at a dog park. I thought I had normal chemo ickiness on Tuesday, but I should have stayed home because the cold was starting. I have been home sick in bed (or the bathroom) since. This Friday, I finally feel a little better. Still resting, but quasi functional.

I can't believe I actually made it through the wedding rehearsal and the wedding. Must have been a "prayer pass." I only had a few interruptions at the rehearsal dinner. At the wedding, I did not vommit from the pulpit during the reading at the ceremony, nor did my wig accidentally catch on fire by the candles. I had been so scared I dreamed about both. I sat at a table and drank juice during the reception cocktaiks rather than standing and mingling. I nibbled at dinner to avoid digestive drama, and I managed to get myself on the dancefloor for a handful of songs, although my endurance was one slow song only and then back to sitting down. I was disappointed not to feel up to more, especially because the band was great! I did manage to wear heels without a neuropathy impact. I was also even happier about my port placement because I could wear a strapless dress I already owned without the scar showing. Overall, success!

It was all worth it. I was so glad to be there with my family and friends on such a happy day. I loved reconnecting with my dad's fraternity brother and his wife- I was the flower girl (my first wedding appearance) at their wedding. I got one of the best hugs ever from my Aunt Robin. I got to hear some pretty great stories during my grandmother's toast to my dad, and I got to be close to her for one of the sweetest moments in the church when we first sat down and she wiped her eye and held my hand as she looked up at my dad, saying, "He's still my little boy."

My favorite moment involved the bottle of champagne from Josh and my wedding, which had been a gift from the Jetton side of the family, my grandfather in particular, and signed by my relatives. The bottle was Champagne Pol Roger, for my Grandaddy Roger who could not be at our ceremony April 7, 2012, due to travel limitations from his fight with emphysema. Josh and I planned to have it with our wedding cake on our first anniversary, but we enjoyed the wine at dinner a bit too much to feel good about opening it on that day. So, we resolved to save it for a special occasion. He passed away on May 5, 2013, not even a month later, when Josh and I were in Seattle at the wedding of Josh's childhood best friend. I didn't get to say goodbye, but I knew he loved me. Still, I had always felt things were unfinished.

Josh and I gave my father and his bride our bottle from Grandaddy Roger with a brief toast at the wedding. Amazingly, like fish and loaves of bread, we kept pouring and pouring glasses, and I think all my Jetton relatives were able to have some. He would have loved to have been there. He would have loved to have seen my dad happy. It was beautiful seeing the whole family so together and so raw. It was perfect. There was a moment too when I really felt like he was there, a presence that was a hug goodbye, and I've been at peace with his passing since. That was the special occasion we were waiting for. I know my dad and his family felt him there too.

Love transcends time and space. The people we love are always with us.