Shaved... I did it anyway

While crying alligator tears in the shower this morning, just ashamed of being jealous and frustrated and not knowing how to get over it, I decided that I was done with my head hurting from all the hairs falling out. I was sick of seeing even the little buzz cut hairs fall out like cancer confetti. Just absolutely done with it. So, I shaved it.

I am not supposed to use razors because of risk of infection, but that's what antibiotics are for. I lathered my head in Neosporin in case, but let the doctors fix me if they have to. I just needed to eliminate this constant rain of cancer reminder, and doctors can't do a darn thing about the way it makes me feel seeing it falling out and walking around like a mangey dog under that wig. An infection couldn't make me feel worse. So there. Now I am really, truly bald. Not willing to risk death yet for a professional pedicure, but don't think I haven't thought of it.

Time to get it together.

Thanks for the words of support and sending good vibes my way. It's helping me get out of this stupid cancer hole of woe I fell into.