On Monday and Tuesday, all I could do was get in the bed immediately after work. On Wednesday and Thursday, I saw a group of wonderful friends who began as colleagues and clients. Several more sent their well wishes and regrets. Dinner with an old and very dear friend on Thursday whom I really should have called much sooner. It was so uplifting to see friends both nights. Well worth the energy spent. Sorry for no blog posts this week- I was just exhausted.
I saw the medical oncologist (chemo doc) on Tuesday. Apparently I am their first cancer patient ever to have ovarian hyperstimulation syndrome. Yay for over achieving! NOT. Oh well. We are upping my benadryl to address flushing, with Claritin for 3+ days after. Chemo stays the same. We think it's working. After care stays the same, with additional Ativan as needed. I now own the entire drug store tummy aisle, so I feel prepared for everything. I was a little bit disappointed when I asked about the oral mucositis and ice chips. I was told about the magic mouth rinse, but ice chips were kind of dismissed. I guess that's modern medicine for you. Nothing to prevent, only treatment after you get it. And something that is free obviously couldn't work like $50k+ medicine. BS. I read the studies. I am doing the ice chips. I don't want to be treated after my mouth dies inside my mouth. I don't want it in the first place. This has been known definitively since 2008. Oh well. I will let you know how it goes 7-10 days after this round since that's when they died this time.
I also am coming back to the ketogenic protocol and fasting. I read studies by Valter Longo out of the University of Southern California. He seems pretty legit and backed by science. Mouse studies, including for breast cancer, suggest that fasting 48h before and 24h after reduce side effects and synergistically support the chemo by making the cancer more susceptible to chemo's toxic effects, while protecting healthy cells as they shift into maintenance mode during the fast. I am not a mouse, but I am pro quantified self, and I would do anything to feel less awful this round. I emailed the director of the Chemo-lieve FDA trial but couldn't get in and it's not done yet, so not FDA approved and can't be bought. They offered to sell me another product that is supposed to improve patient compliance with fasting by allowing you to eat a tiny bit without undermining the beneficial effects of the fast. BUT, they will only send to me with my oncologist's permission. I am going to try to white knuckle the fast on my own and if it works, consider demanding the permission and paying for the product then.
There apparently is a lot of resistance to treating cancer as a metabolic disease, in addition to a genetic one. I don't have the genes. BRCA 1 & 2 negative. I'm not surprised about the metabolic angle. I have struggled for years with my weight, sleep, stress, and nutrition. Time to get it right. I ordered some books on Amazon that may help me understand a bit more.
My hair is doing ok. Monday was the last day I washed and lightly blow dried. On Tuesday, it was coming out 1-3 hairs at a time. Wednesday, 3-5. Thursday, 5-10. Friday, 20+. I am not patchy yet, but I have a horse's mane. Tomorrow I am getting my GI Jane buzz cut. Hair I have left will be donated to Wigs for Kids, which gives the kids wigs for free. Locks of Love makes their kids pay, so I opted not to send my virgin hair to them. I also will have my wig cut a bit for my face. My goal is not to cry. I literally came out of the womb with more hair than I will have after tomorrow. I just don't want to watch it fall out and be something that happens to me. By cutting it, I feel like I will feel more in control of what is happening to me and at least some good will come out of it by giving my hair to a child.
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| Lawyer friends! Secret squirrel client is taking the photo. :-) |
Music for today, Ellie Goulding's Anything Could Happen:
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